Two thought’s from the past that may not have made it into my blog.

By: Glen M. Sutphin A.P.P.

Press Correspondent # 59465SUT

Here are two thoughts from the past. I’m not sure if they have been in my blog before or not but they are worth posting now. This first one comes from around this time period 5 years ago. After my friend was murdered.

I guess I need to answer some questions I’ve been asked. Ok let’s say we suspend our reality and meet in a place we agree is a hyper reality. Like in the movie “Matrix”. Our new world is like that world. OK with me so far. Great. Now picture the scene here last month. Your best friend is laying on the ground in pain, you other half is there with them. Their other half is also there on the side with their back to you. You walk up and see all this going on and know you can do nothing. You have the will and the power to do something but your told <NO YOU CAN‘T NOT THIS TIME> . You have in the past, but not this time. And then because everyone is in matrix world they don’t see what you do. There is a glitch in the matrix and you are seeing things that are there but no one see them. It’s OK no one will believe you anyway. What do you do? And in this matrix world God and the devil exist as real persons. Everything that was told you was a half truth. You see fully what is going on. How do you tell others? What if they don’t believe you?

Do you still fight on or do you listen to people who don’t see or know what is even going on. What if everything was said to come to an end and you hope that they don’t but you have this fear that what you know is what is to be. HOW would you tell people? Would you fight with all your might to change things that you could? Would you stand when no one else would? Would you go to Hell and back to do everything in your power to make sure that it wasn’t as bad as it is suppose to be? And what if everyone that you know said you were crazy and it couldn’t happen. Would you still believe in what you saw with your own eyes? Could you have the courage to forgive people who have hurt you and asked for a second chance? Would you destroy your enemies so they couldn’t do you harm any more? Ask yourself these questions and see where you would put your answers.

I told God I would die for my own sins. I am bound by word and deed to God and God alone. I must prove myself to him and him alone. I can’t help you people don’t understand what I have done in the past. I did things that I so wish I could go back and fix the wrong that created my dilemma. I would change some things. I will forever understand that deed should not have been done. But free will is always everyone’s right. To rebel against free will that’s a trick. I know most of you won’t get most of what I say, I understand. In time you might see the bigger truth and not the small little arguments you have with the way I see things. I forgive you, not everyone will even with all the photo’s and video’s believe me. Again I forgive them. Not my charge to make you believe at most my blog is just a way to voice my anger and thoughts and feelings at that time. If it is used to try and figure me out, good luck. If it is used to come after me and say I’m mental, maybe in your world I am, maybe I should be locked away from you blind fools. If I have done anything that is illegal bring your charges against me and do it legally. Come and get me I’m tired of fighting against idiots, god must love idiots he made so many of them. There’s still a few living on my street.

And yes I will put in print my thoughts and not care if you agree or disagree, they are mine and does it matter what I think any way. If I’m an idiot well at least I know god loves me. But I think I’m mostly right. Even if you don’t agree with me that is your right.”

After rereading this next one it’s from around the same period as well. 

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”Martin Luther King, Jr.

If that be the case then we’ll see how we measure a man. I am being tested again in life. Do the right thing, say the right thing, be the right thing. Even thou doing the right thing will cost me dearly. SOMEONE PLEASE WAKE ME UP i’M LIVING A NIGHTMARE AND IT’S IN LIVING COLOR. My entire days are spent here recently wondering who else is going to come up against me and give me crap that I don’t need. I’m still recovering from that surgery I am doing better but to have to be eternally under the gun from people is too much.

I look like hell. I am the person you drop knee deep in hell and pray they don’t come back. I will time and time again. Seems I have a piece of hell in me and it burns so damn hot and bright that I can’t see myself at times, I am blinded by it and it at times enrages me to the point that I glow hot as the sun. I am a demon and an angel inside. Stuck between the two I forever am.

I don’t want to do the wrong thing so I plan my words and actions accordingly. That should be the sign of an intelligent person, but around here it makes you stupid??? I don’t understand this race of being known as human’s. Some of your race don’t seem to be intelligent at all. Some of you thou do show promise. I never claimed to be from your race I don’t consider myself on the same level as you. I have more to me hidden from most peoples view. But more and more it’s showing through.

You can use me to measure how far will someone go for the honor of a fallen friend. To hell and back. So be it. I am tired of the fighting that gains nothing over something that none of us own. I am beginning to see some of the wisdom of some of the old prophets and truth sayers. I’ve listened to preachers, I’ve listen to fools, I’ve watched the dropouts who make they’re own rules. I’ve seen people do things unimaginable and seen spectacular failure. Seen starts and finishes of things meant to be, seen life ended to soon. Seen things unimaginable and unreal as well as horrible too real.

I have done a lot of things in my life, have done things that no one knows and things that everyone will know about. I am trying to show my son that no matter what this life throws at you , you can be whatever you strive to be. I do not follow the crowd. I believe in the old adage of “Lead, follow or get the hell out of the way.” Those that can lead, DO. Those who can’t lead, FOLLOW. Those who can do neither get out of the way or get squashed. Your either IN or In the way. Choose a side and get on it.

Some of the problems I have with humans is they don’t like the way I talk to them. I tell them the in your face honest truth. They can’t except the simple way that is. NOT my charge. NOT my problem. If the truth hurts sorry it is the truth and you can’t bury it, coat it with lies or fight against it. It will always be true. That is the law. God made it so. The truth shall set you free.

But you do the right things and lose things time and time again where is that written, wait that answer is here in my blog. Seems I don’t fit that rule made by God. There are things in this life that I have done that make me the way I am today. I have made massive mistakes and paid dearly for them. I have done things that were forbidden, things that should never have been done and things that needed to be done thou none wanted to do them or could do them. I have tried most of my adult life to change some of the wrong I did in the distant past. Change things about myself and those around me.

I am weary from fighting and just want the war to stay still for a while and let me recover so I can fight on. To have to be on guard 24-7 is a drain. Never know what is coming next. But as always stay tuned.” 

That’s my thoughts for the day I’m finishing up a few articles I have been working on and will post soon. Thanks and stay tuned.

Author: lordnelga

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